Dying to try it or trying to diet?

I never saw a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you anyhow
I’d rather see than be one

This quaint rhyme was hung around the neck of a rather pretty purple faux suede cow that my mum bought me when we were on holiday in Cornwall. The author is Frank Gelett Burgess (1866–1951), who interestingly came up with the term ‘blurb’.

The purple cow reminded me of dieting.

I’ve never read a diet book
I’ve never once dieted
But I can tell you anyhow
I’m certainly not going to start one now

For whatever reason, I’ve always been on the skinny side of slim. When BMIs came into vogue, and so many people were on the fat edge, I was on the underweight edge.

I always ate loads. Meals as a kid and in school hols were pancakes or Yorkshire pudding for starters, followed by meat and two veg, although not necessarily potatoes. Sundays were starter, soup, fish course, and main course. Dessert was once a year, when we had Christmas pudding.

Breakfast was two pieces of bacon and tomato or mushrooms. Sometimes I would add minute steak, kidneys, a lamb chop, a fine mixed grill breakfast.

As if all that wasn’t enough, we were blessed with two good fish and chip shops within a few minutes walk, which often served for supper.

Little Roughseas ate well, there is no doubt about that. She did not however, pig out on sweeties and puddings and ice cream. Nor did she raid the fridge for chocolate cake like two-year-old Lisa, in the pic below. (Pic from The Metabolism Solution).

The pickled onion jars were another matter, and later, the odd prawn might disappear from a prawn cocktail, or a plate of smoked salmon might have looked suspiciously light.

Nor was young Roughseas ever fat. And as she grew up, it was more of the same. Tall, slim, ate loads, never put on weight.

And, when she started work, she was hyper, seriously so. Fast metabolism? Oh yes. I was supersonic in fact.

So, I was interested to read a book called ‘The Metabolism Solution’ by Lisa Lynn. I knew it was a diet book, but I thought a take on metabolism might be interesting …

I carefully checked the terms of the book tour programme before I wrote this review.

Because, The Metabolism Solution is a glorified hype for Ms Lynn’s ‘diet’ products. A whole chapter, ie nearly 50 pages, is devoted to telling us about her products, and how they are superior to other products.

In summary, if you buy her products, drink water, eat loads of veg, and some white fish, you will lose weight. Well, quite possibly so. I am not disputing that.

I remember discovering some strange packets in a cupboard drawer once (no, not the Durex, I’d found those earlier) that suggested my mum was trying to diet using appetite suppressants. I don’t think they worked. They weren’t there for long.

With the exception of the ‘buy my products’ pitch, the author is basically promoting a protein rich (but not red meat), low carb diet, with lots of veg/salads. Nothing new there. Somewhat like paleo. In fact she mentions her recipes are compatible with paleo and South beach (?) diets.

However, what I would suggest is, that one can eat lots of vegetables, eat a minimum amount of protein and avoid sweet foods and junk foods and still stay moderately fit and avoid obesity. Without buying whey shakes and lean bars, supplements, appetite suppressants, vitamins etc.

Costs quoted in the book of one of Ms Lynn’s products was nearly 40 bucks compared with separate ingredients costing more than 200 bucks. But why buy any of it? Average cost of junk food purchase in USA = $3.75 a time. But for nearly a dollar less, you can get a really good protein bar (a Ms Lynn Lean Bar) for $2.91. How about you just don’t bother with either? That may help all the fattie snackers out there. Just. Don’t. Eat. It.

Seriously, why can anyone not work out that junk food, snacks = not clever, fresh home-prepared food = better?

To be fair, I should have chucked the book on page three as advised: ‘If you are one of the lucky ones who have a fast metabolism and never crave the wrong food, stop reading now.’

Yup. That’s me. But I read on.

There are some great quotes in there:

The best choice you can make when it comes to protein is the LynFit Complete Protein Shake. Right alongside it is my Lean Bar.

Natch.

Work on your sleep. It’s guaranteed to improve whatever ails you.

And of course, you need LynFit Lean Sleep to do this …

Marketers want us to believe we need to eat these foods, when in fact we don’t.

(In reference to food labels and so-called ‘health halo’ foods)

Some people want us to believe we need dietary products and supplements to lose weight …

Just never stop drinking a protein shake for breakfast.

Obviously, or it won’t help LynFit profits.

Freeze your Lean Bars and they last forever. Just remember to thaw them out before trying to bite into one.

No! Really?

One thing we all crave at one time or other is ice cream.

Er no, Ms Lynn. Not all of us.

Having entertained myself somewhat reading this book, there are a few things I do agree with. Obviously veg, preferably fresh from my perspective. The ideal being out of my garden and organic. I think it’s sensible to use stairs not the lift, and rather than parking a block away from work or wherever, why not use public transport? Yes! Getting on buses and trains with the hoi polloi of society. Or walk or cycle.

I think meditation is perfectly sensible too. But there is a difference between meditation per se and praying to God (the Christian one) under the masquerade of meditation. Meditation as I learned it (TM) is actually about clearing your mind totally, not repeating Jesus wants me for a sunbeam or such similar mantra.

The sceptics amongst you may be interested to know there is a whole chapter devoted to ‘God and your Bod’.

If you are serious about changing your body, you need to be serious about working on your relationship with God.

Does that therefore mean that The Metabolism Solution only works for right-on Christians?

In fact, the God and your Bod chapter could have been quite good if only it had been written from a more general perspective instead of a rigid Christian point of view.

Getting rid of negativity, focussing on positive results, moving forward, having clear goals, looking within yourself are all sensible pieces of advice.

But

Every issue you face, from health to financial ones, can be helped by developing a closer relationship with God.

and

For every problem God has a solution. Take it to God. … Prayer is heavenly intervention and gives God your permission for Him to step in.

are basically of zilch use to a non-Christian. It could easily have been re-written to say ‘focus on your inner self’ or ‘if you are spiritual, take this time to think about your faith and the god/s in which you believe’. But, I guess a ‘solid Christian woman’ as the author describes herself, wouldn’t actually feel comfortable with writing that.

The last sentence of the God/Bod chapter is:

See God the way you seek a good meat and you’ll never be hungry again.

I’ve really no idea what she meant by that but it appealed to my vegetarian inner self. In fact, Ms Lynn was vegetarian at one point on her quest to lose weight. I’m not sure what sort of vegetarian she was as as describes Top Secret Tuna Sauce as The Vegetarian Meat Sauce. Er no, Ms Lynn. Tuna is fish. Fish is not vegetarian.

But, for anyone who likes diets, and can’t work out how to eat healthily and sensibly, this isn’t a bad book inasmuch as it is well laid out, logical, explains the theory, has some basic work-out exercises, some mediocre recipes, and looks at the person overall, rather than just focusing on calorie intake (or whatever dieters focus on).

I’d like to thank iRead Book Tours for this free book in return for an honest review.

Incidentally, halfway through January, I read that fifty per cent of new year diet resolutions had been blown by people succumbing to chocolate, bread, crisps, and takeaway food. We are, indeed, what we eat.

With which I’d like to mention two bloggers.

Barbara from Silver in the Barn, shared a great Brussels sprouts recipe with me: shred sprouts, sauté lightly in olive oil/butter/both, add garlic, lemon, white wine, mustard seeds, salt and pepper. I added some pasta twists to make a lunch dish.

And Chitra has a fabulous blog which is mainly Indian, but often a mix of Asian food. Her recipes are simple, easy, tasty, cheap, and she points out the health benefits of various ingredients.

Not a supplement in sight on either blog. Just pure fresh veg. Whatever next?!