What price Viagra?

Warning for those of a sensitive sexual nature. All names changed etc

I know. My spam box is now going to be swamped after this headline.

Anyway, it’s £5 (used to be £20) on the black market in Gib, so I am informed. How reliable my info is, depends I suppose, on how much sildenafil was in the alleged Viagra tablet.

Viagra, courtesy wiki
Viagra, courtesy wiki

The story goes, which is only second hand from the perpetrator to partner to me, that Vince was lined up with some woman for the night. Vince has a rather active sex life, so much so, that at one point he had three women all turning up at the same place to meet him.

He clearly doesn’t think with his brain or he would have suggested different venues.

However he’s looking forward to his night with Penny, and decides to buy a Viagra tablet.

Partner was puzzled. “Why were you buying Viagra?” It didn’t seem as though Vince had any problems ‘down there’ given the number of women chasing him.

“I wanted to give her a really good seeing-to.”

I do hope he’s equally conscientious about contraception and STDs.

He takes the whole pill. Partner seems to have mixed with a few Viagra men in Gib as one of the others he knew only took half a pill, so he asked Vince why the need for the whole pill. Natch, Vince wanted enhanced performance. (Ignore the fact that there is scant evidence on Viagra providing this for men who are not suffering from erectile dysfunction.)

Needless to state, our Man about Gib didn’t get an erection at all. Let alone one lasting for hours. He did however get a stiff neck, which is only just wearing off. If only the Viagra had worked the same way …

A woman who lives in Spain but works in Gib was mugged in Spain. She gets her denuncio (Spanish police report) and crosses the frontier to apply for a new passport in Gib.

Except, customs turned her back. Her work contract hadn’t been renewed even though she was still working, so they wouldn’t let her in.

It reminded me of when we had all our papers stolen in Spain, got our denuncio, the police national let us through the frontier but told us we couldn’t go back, and Gib customs let us through. Luckily.

The passport office in Gib is for Gib residents and British nationals working in Gib with an up-to-date contract of employment. British people living in Spain without a legit work contract need to go through Madrid. It’s not a bad service. I’ve used it. It’s not as easy as walking into the Gib passport office.

But what else is happening in Gib that makes the official news, rather than the on-the-street goss?

Let’s have a look at the govt press office and our local rag, the Gib Chron for info:

A Guardia Civil boat crossed the bows of a Royal Navy sub yesterday:

“HMS Torbay had to slow down considerably, nearly to a halt, because of the Guardia Civil launch and wait until it left the area,” an eyewitness told the Chronicle. “The Guardia Civil launch was perhaps 500 metres from the South Mole.”

The incident was logged as an illegal incursion by The Convent, although officials there refrained from commenting further due to the sensitivity of UK submarine operations.

“An unlawful incursion into British Gibraltar Territorial Waters by a Spanish State vessel took place on Thursday 12 March The Royal Navy challenged the vessel, which departed British waters,” the spokesman said.

“The actions of the Guardia Civil constitute a violation of British sovereignty and a breach of the UN Convention on the Law of the Sea.”

“We will be protesting this to the Spanish Government.”

We’re moving into those deadline traffic light timers:

David Lee from Techtrotech, the company responsible for installing the countdown timer, said that the twelve second countdown starts towards the end of the green man cycle.

“There is a total of 24 seconds from the end of the red man cycle until the new one starts again,” he said. “The pilot scheme falls under the guidelines of the Highways Agency in the UK and the requirements are 1.2 metres per second to allow pedestrians sufficient time to cross.”

Please, Mr Lee. Green person and red person. Women cross roads too. Oh, but, only men can tell us when to cross. Sorry. My mistake. What about people in wheelchairs? With crutches? Me, really?

Personally I like Belisha beacons, which date back to 1935, when the world wasn’t in so much of a rush. (Excluding fascist dictators.)

Belisha beacon in Main Street
Belisha beacon in Main Street

In Gib, most people slow down at crossings and stop to let people across. How civilised. It was the norm when I was a kid.

And continuing with the traffic theme, let’s fly. And return to Spanish sovereignty claims. Yes, they are continuous.

A couple of new destinations have been included from Gib’s airport, Bristol with Sleazyjet and Tanger with Royal Air Maroc, this last from £67 return. But, it is only a 30 min flight. A pound a minute, más o menos.

Yet, at the same time, Spain is wanting to exclude Gib airport from EU air regulation. One minute they are invading territorial waters, the next they are building Spanish castles in the air and trying to gain support from the Ukraine (??).

Spain has stepped up its campaign to have Gibraltar excluded from new EU aviation measures by seeking to recruit the support of the Ukrainian government.

And, Gib govt press release:

No, Spain, the air space, the runway, just like territorial waters, are not yours.
No, Spain, the air space, the runway, just like territorial waters, are not yours.

And, the Gib govt has changed its website. It looks like a blog. A wordpress blog! It looks like my blog. Oh no! Has someone been reading Roughseasinthemed? If they have, top tip, you still need my press release writing skills …

The obligatory dog posts. It was redec the salón week.

And the big dog.

I think I'll just sleep out of the way
I think I’ll just sleep out of the way
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66 comments on “What price Viagra?

  1. I enjoyed your post — very random tidbits, most of which I understood. The encounter between ships/vessels confused me a bit, but I am not concerned and don’t need an explanation of any kind. The warning at the top was not really necessary, though, because (I am thankful for this) you did not include any specific details of poor Vince’s sex life. I do, however, wonder what happened to that unfortunate woman who wasn’t allowed back in? Did she get her working visa, and is she now back at work or still stranded in Spain? Snowy shows very well in those shots. His energy and curiosity are visible — as well as his good looks. I would like someone to come and redec my place. I am enjoying your bits of Gib trivia, since I really don’t know much about its past or present.

    Like

    • Hi Diana thanks.

      The waters thing is simply explained as: Spain doesn’t accept Gib has territorial waters. Technically they are British-Gib waters for a three mile limit. So, from time to time, Spain invades the waters as part of their claim to sovereignty over Gib. That will save you backreading!

      Well, I never know how sensitive people are so, hence the warning of a mild sexual nature. Actually although his neck may well still be stiff I think the rest of him has returned to normal. You don’t need to hear more. I didn’t get specific on the woman. Gib is a small place and I don’t want to identify people depending on who may read my blog. The honest answer is I don’t know.

      Pippa has two poses. Moving far too fast that I have never yet caught him, and asleep. Snowy is slightly more photogenic and much more vain.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. When my husband’s brother last visited us he presented my husband with a Viagra tablet….he never, he said, travelled without a supply. If he felt that that compensated for drinking us out of house and home and giving their mother the habdabs by deliberately missing the way to the airport he was mistaken.
    I found the tablet the other day when rash enough to muck out the drawers in the office…..even the geckos haven’t touched it.

    Why do we have submarines if they can’t sink the launches of the Guardia Civil?

    Have you gathered that ‘my’ airport in Spain will be receiving Ryanair from September onwards….this may compensate for ‘my’ airport on Costa Rica being closed down while a local volcano clears its throat.

    Like

    • I’m lost with the recreational use aspect given there is no proof it is effective. Seems like a waste of money to me. Truth is, I’ve never met a man who’s needed it either. Like the geckos.

      We have to be nice. Apparently. And do diplomacy. Although not with gun boats. Sadly.

      Nope. But I will look up your many airport issues. Not tonight though.

      Like

  3. I can’t believe that in the picture you showed us of Main Street and the Belisha beacon, it’s raining.
    That’s not the picture most of us have of Gib where we imagine you basking in the sun all day.
    A shame the sub didn’t accidentally ‘rock the boat’ it might have dissuaded them from keep invading UK waters.
    Don’t the Spanish authorities remember why Gib was ceded to us in the first place. This is really a case of Indian giving. Maybe we should break off diplomatic relations with them and prevent tourists from the UK going and topping up their coffers. The status quo doesn’t actually hurt them but I suppose it’s convenient to trot it out to deflect the Spanish people from other problems.Personally I wonder how many of them actually care.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Like

    • Well, it was a couple of years ago. Saved me staggering down the stairs to take a pic. Hasn’t rained here for weeks, really dry winter.

      Respect huh. Bit like blog posts, we are being nice and getting pissed all over. Politics politics.

      I doubt many do care. It’s just a bit of rhetoric to trot out occasionally. Most Spaniards want jobs and there aren’t any. But for those who live across the border, there are jobs in Gib. Would there be jobs in Gib if Gib was Spanish?

      Like

  4. Awwwww! When I saw the beautiful shots you took of Pippa and Snowy, I forgot everything else I wanted to say! The stiff neck made me laugh though! You write so well Kate! :D

    Snowy is just so adorable and I love how he is ‘supervising’. He is cute for sure. Love the shot of Pippa sleeping. Simba does that most of the times as well.

    Thanks for this treat Kate. You do know I love seeing them. Please give them lots of ♥ Hugs and Kisses ♥ from me. :D

    Like

    • Thank you Sonel 👍😊 Seems a waste not to use the pics when I’d taken them. I missed out on Snowy using a dust sheet on the floor as a mini-racetrack, sprinting up and down on it! For a dog that was dumped in a rubbish bin he has a very imperious attitude.

      Yes Pippa does spend most of his time sleeping these days, although he does like having attention when he goes out for walks and poses nicely for photos for Americans.

      Liked by 2 people

      • hahahah! Now that must have been something funny to watch! He sounds like a hoot! :D

        It’s because he’s so loved and I am sure he doesn’t even remember being dumped. :D

        Awww, give them another hug and lots of kisses from me. ♥

        Liked by 1 person

        • He is a funny little dog. He has mad ten minutes, well maybe five, where he suddenly has a huge energy burst either in the flat or on the terrace at the finca. I’ve got a short vid of him running at the beach on Pippa’s blog, he is one fast little boy. But, his breed is descended from greyhounds so not really surprising.

          I’m sure he doesn’t. Dogs don’t normally dwell on the past. I think sometimes though that as he never grew up with a mama and siblings, we provide all that for him. Still, dog psychology isn’t my strong point.

          They both say thank you very much. Vain boys.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. I still don’t like “person” as the non-sexist marker, as it was mocked to death in the 80s and 90s. “Police person”- Ha, ha, ha, ridiculous, say the sexists. So we have “police officer”. Green light? Green signal? Green walker, red stander?

    On whether non-medical viagra has any viagra in it, I remember hearing how men obsessively distressed with going bald took spironolactone to stop it. Trans women take that as a testosterone suppressant, so those men were more concerned with up above than down below, or with appearance rather than reality.

    Like

    • There are always options. Police person officer sounds like you’ve been watching hot fuzz. I remember the dilemma over what to call anyone who chaired a meeting and chairperson was then a viable option. I think people have to get used to linguistic changes.

      Now I’m going to have to look up spironolactane …

      Like

  6. How generous of Viagra Vince to want to give her a “really good seeing-to.” Such generosity. Laughed out loud at the stiff neck. More importantly, I so enjoyed seeing Pippa and Snowy who seem to have opposite approaches in coping with the redecorating. All finished now? Are we happy with the results?

    Like

    • Kind person huh? I wondered if anyone would mention that. Gross.

      Pippa used to lie on the dust sheets, he seems to be happier out of the way now. An old age thing? Salón is finished. Bedroom needs doing. We would not dare to be less than happy. In olden days we rarely stayed anywhere long, so it was buy, move in, redec before leaving, sell and make profit. Now we stay longer in our homes and he feels short-changed because he’s not making money on it. The downside of living with a pro decorator. And of course, he also notices when it needs doing before I do, so starts to get irritable about it 😀

      But the short answer is yes. Sort of a spring clean I suppose. Now waiting for him to paint the curtain rail before the (washed) curtain goes back up … could be some time though.

      Like

  7. In the good old days they would have sunk the un-Civil boat first and asked questions afterwards.
    Or just rammed it – ‘We didn’t see it; it wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near.’ A fun fandango would have ensued.

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    • Indeed. Might have been more effective but then the UK and Gib would be hauled before the EU, the UN, and goodness knows who else, to serve no purpose at all.

      I like ‘we didn’t see it’. A policy of selective vision should be initiated. I will suggest it to my colleague in the Royal Gib Defence Police who also get involved in these fandangos.

      Like

          • Another Satanic scheme, which I would assist in implementing if it happened here, would be to surround them with swarms of pleasure craft getting in their way. They would know that if they put so much as a scratch on one, their cause would be down the plughole.

            Like

          • The regatta here for the Queen’s jubilee was seen as a real stick it in your face gesture. Loads of small boats sailed around the rock at the outer limit, I’ve written about it but am too idle to look up post, for a small place it was pretty impressive. Will add link later. Plus, the north face of the rock, which faces spain, had an illuminated picture of the queen. Gib did 60th well.

            Like

  8. The viagra story pretty darn funny. He deserved the stiff neck… idiot! :D
    There’s no caption on your main pic?
    Anyway, Snowy is a lot like Aragorn… likes to be a part of everything and SUPERVISE.
    Pippa on the other hand, smart like Rico. Stays out of the way… having none o dat!

    Like

    • He’s the sort of person who gets annoyed with someone on the phone and throws it in the sea. We’ve met a few people who do that. The marinas in Gib must be carpeted with mobile phones.

      The black and white one. It’s Snowy. A hangover from other themes where the featured imagine would actually change the header and not display a caption.

      If you look at the photo where he is sitting with A, you can see his tail hanging down. I was waiting for him to start twitching it catishly. He lies on us like a cat would too. Mind you he is nearer cat size than Pippa size so it’s not surprising he’s got behavioural identity issues.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hey, sounds like how I feel when the computer can’t keep up with my typing… or decides to do one… ‘cept, I don’t actually throw it ’cause I know I can’t afford a replacement. :D I come pretty darn close to it sometimes though, so that and common sense are what keep me… (I was going to say, sane, but I’m sure I lost my sanity years ago)

        Bloody themes, hey? No mas cerveza para Nieve!

        Poor bugger, then again that is how they get their way… sympathy votes. Aragorn has learned how to sulk and whine, dramatically when I’m too busy… he’s very convincing. Even gets Pat putting me on guilt trip. I’m so evil when I don’t play ball with him… Maybe we should swap? :D

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  9. I have no personal experience of Viagra I can happily say but some of the stories the G.O. is told by his work mates then relates over our post-workday glass of wine make my hair curl… Vince would fit in well in their lunch shed.
    Snowy looks like a great helper but it’s Pippa’s pic that winds my heart… I Lovell dogs but I have a soft spot for old dogs :)

    Like

    • Yeah, construction does seem to attract these sort of stories …

      Pippa is so old and laid back he’s even stopped chasing cats, so I’m told. He’s always been such a gentle, placid undemanding dog. He’s asleep under the table right now.

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  10. So, all Vince got was a stiff neck? That’s so hilarious. Vince sounds like he’d be a really wonderful date….NOT. :roll: Great snippets, Kate. Love the photo of the Belisha Beacon. Id forgotten what they were called. The people in the rain look very gloomy.

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  11. Isn’t it funny how dogs arrange themselves to fit in almost any space…as long as it’s right where you are working?
    Enjoyed all the news. There’s so many real news stories happening everyday, I wish our media would focus less on the dog who belongs to a couple who dresses it up like a child complete with backpack and has trained it to walk on back 2 legs(in opposite side of the world)…or the kid who fell out of a tall window to be caught by a bystander (in a country on the opposite side of the world)…or the obese dog who lost a ton of weight and had a tummy tuck (now I’m glad for the dog, but the “news” has time limits and isn’t something like Gib territorial waters going on?) Magazine mentality much too common now…”they really don’t want to know anyway”..the media is assisting in the dumbing down-ness.
    Redo in progress. Wish things could get done and even better completed around here!

    Like

    • Our dogs have always been pretty good at fitting in, so smart. When I broke my ankle, Snowy knew that I couldn’t take him out so stopped asking. When partner goes out to work, he just curls up and waits for him to come in before he asks to go out. But yes, they have to be Right. Next. To. You.

      Ah. The news. It doesn’t take long to summarise important events and issues. And really who wants to know about dressed up dogs walking on two legs? OK for Animal Farm maybe? Is it the fault of the media who print what the public want? The politicians’ fault for disregarding the public? Or the public’s fault for actually watching and reading dumbed down tat? Maybe life is too hard and no-one wants to read about reality. Rather than watching fake reality shows.

      Curtan pole for sitting room finally got a repaint today (black metal) so curtains (washed) will be back up tomorrow.

      Like

  12. A stiff neck. Ouch on several different levels. And I think it’s nice that in Gib people stop for pedestrians. Where I live, I feel like cars speed up to mow Miles and I down.

    Like

    • He lives on a boat, think he’d slept with the window open :D

      Stopping for pedestrians used to be such an automatic British thing when I grew up so we always do it on the rare occasion we’re in a vehicle. Road courtesy? A thing of the past.

      Like

    • I couldn’t understand it. This man changes his women like no tomorrow, has no dysfunction so why bother with the viagra? Anyway, didn’t do him any good. Thanks. It’s to make the dogs feel better as I’ve semi-abandoned their blog!

      Liked by 1 person

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