What price Viagra?

Warning for those of a sensitive sexual nature. All names changed etc

I know. My spam box is now going to be swamped after this headline.

Anyway, it’s £5 (used to be £20) on the black market in Gib, so I am informed. How reliable my info is, depends I suppose, on how much sildenafil was in the alleged Viagra tablet.

Viagra, courtesy wiki

The story goes, which is only second hand from the perpetrator to partner to me, that Vince was lined up with some woman for the night. Vince has a rather active sex life, so much so, that at one point he had three women all turning up at the same place to meet him.

He clearly doesn’t think with his brain or he would have suggested different venues.

However he’s looking forward to his night with Penny, and decides to buy a Viagra tablet.

Partner was puzzled. “Why were you buying Viagra?” It didn’t seem as though Vince had any problems ‘down there’ given the number of women chasing him.

“I wanted to give her a really good seeing-to.”

I do hope he’s equally conscientious about contraception and STDs.

He takes the whole pill. Partner seems to have mixed with a few Viagra men in Gib as one of the others he knew only took half a pill, so he asked Vince why the need for the whole pill. Natch, Vince wanted enhanced performance. (Ignore the fact that there is scant evidence on Viagra providing this for men who are not suffering from erectile dysfunction.)

Needless to state, our Man about Gib didn’t get an erection at all. Let alone one lasting for hours. He did however get a stiff neck, which is only just wearing off. If only the Viagra had worked the same way …

A woman who lives in Spain but works in Gib was mugged in Spain. She gets her denuncio (Spanish police report) and crosses the frontier to apply for a new passport in Gib.

Except, customs turned her back. Her work contract hadn’t been renewed even though she was still working, so they wouldn’t let her in.

It reminded me of when we had all our papers stolen in Spain, got our denuncio, the police national let us through the frontier but told us we couldn’t go back, and Gib customs let us through. Luckily.

The passport office in Gib is for Gib residents and British nationals working in Gib with an up-to-date contract of employment. British people living in Spain without a legit work contract need to go through Madrid. It’s not a bad service. I’ve used it. It’s not as easy as walking into the Gib passport office.

But what else is happening in Gib that makes the official news, rather than the on-the-street goss?

Let’s have a look at the govt press office and our local rag, the Gib Chron for info:

A Guardia Civil boat crossed the bows of a Royal Navy sub yesterday:

“HMS Torbay had to slow down considerably, nearly to a halt, because of the Guardia Civil launch and wait until it left the area,” an eyewitness told the Chronicle. “The Guardia Civil launch was perhaps 500 metres from the South Mole.”

The incident was logged as an illegal incursion by The Convent, although officials there refrained from commenting further due to the sensitivity of UK submarine operations.

“An unlawful incursion into British Gibraltar Territorial Waters by a Spanish State vessel took place on Thursday 12 March The Royal Navy challenged the vessel, which departed British waters,” the spokesman said.

“The actions of the Guardia Civil constitute a violation of British sovereignty and a breach of the UN Convention on the Law of the Sea.”

“We will be protesting this to the Spanish Government.”

We’re moving into those deadline traffic light timers:

David Lee from Techtrotech, the company responsible for installing the countdown timer, said that the twelve second countdown starts towards the end of the green man cycle.

“There is a total of 24 seconds from the end of the red man cycle until the new one starts again,” he said. “The pilot scheme falls under the guidelines of the Highways Agency in the UK and the requirements are 1.2 metres per second to allow pedestrians sufficient time to cross.”

Please, Mr Lee. Green person and red person. Women cross roads too. Oh, but, only men can tell us when to cross. Sorry. My mistake. What about people in wheelchairs? With crutches? Me, really?

Personally I like Belisha beacons, which date back to 1935, when the world wasn’t in so much of a rush. (Excluding fascist dictators.)

Belisha beacon in Main Street

In Gib, most people slow down at crossings and stop to let people across. How civilised. It was the norm when I was a kid.

And continuing with the traffic theme, let’s fly. And return to Spanish sovereignty claims. Yes, they are continuous.

A couple of new destinations have been included from Gib’s airport, Bristol with Sleazyjet and Tanger with Royal Air Maroc, this last from £67 return. But, it is only a 30 min flight. A pound a minute, más o menos.

Gib airport from the runway

Gib airport from the rooftop of the old airport (now demolished)

Yet, at the same time, Spain is wanting to exclude Gib airport from EU air regulation. One minute they are invading territorial waters, the next they are building Spanish castles in the air and trying to gain support from the Ukraine (??).

Spain has stepped up its campaign to have Gibraltar excluded from new EU aviation measures by seeking to recruit the support of the Ukrainian government.

And, Gib govt press release:

No, Spain, the air space, the runway, just like territorial waters, are not yours.

And, the Gib govt has changed its website. It looks like a blog. A wordpress blog! It looks like my blog. Oh no! Has someone been reading Roughseasinthemed? If they have, top tip, you still need my press release writing skills …

The obligatory dog posts. It was redec the salón week.

Gonna getcha

Thoughtful

I’m cute

Supervising

And the big dog.

I think I’ll just sleep out of the way